Offering Kindness

An acquaintance just told me he was going to give a 12YO boy 2 cans of his favorite soda as a birthday gift. But the boy had been receiving really bad grades in school and had been given in-school suspension. (Whether that was for the bad grades or a different infraction, the man didn't say.)

However, because of the problems the boy was experiencing, the man was only going to give him one can, and it was an obscure off-brand instead of his favorite.

I said maybe what the boy needed most was that 2nd can as an AttaBoy, a  vote of confidence that showed the giver believed the receiver could do it - a kindly boost to the child's self-confidence. But the man said, Oh, no! This one can is my AttaBoy. He doesn't even deservce that.

Even my saying it seemed like there had been punishment enough failed to sway him.

And I wondered - how many people try to make themselves seem superior by punishing and putting down another person. No one who demeans another can be superior or even appear to be.

It seems to me that kindness freely given is usually returned many fold in one way or another.What do you think?

Linda

Stress Relief & Socializing

This is written especially for those who, like me, enjoy socializing with friends, but can't quite face large (over 6 people), noisy gatherings when we're feeling stressed. Such get togethers simply drain our inner batteries more quickly during unsettled times and wear us out.

In the past, I followed the go-or-no principle. Since I really don't care for the shallow interactions of "cocktail party" events, they were easy to decline. But still I was left feeling a little left out if it involved friends or family.

After a lifetime of yes or no, I finally realized that the social gatherings that nourished me weren't all or nothing. Enjoying a 5-hour party for 2 or 3 hours and then leaving is sometimes just right. And theimportant people in my life don't think twice about a slightly early departure.

If you choose that route, I suggest you arrive at the start. Otherwise, you come into the middle of conversations and activities. Leave gracefully when you feel  happily satisfied. You will return home refreshed but not drained!

Happy socializing ~

Linda

An Autumn Retreat Beckons

Saturday morning will find 49 of my church buddies and me breathing in the peace and autumn air at Pere Marquette State Park at the confluence of the Illinois and Mississippi rivers. What a euphoric place of trees and rocky hillsides and small, wild critters. The greenest of baby lizards and the most luxuriant of tree tops can be found there.

It's also a primo place for relocating your inner peace and joy. And I'm reveling in the anticipation ~

Linda

Let Color Ease Your Stress

Ongoing stress can turn our whole world to shades of gray, both emotionally and physically. We neither see nor think in colors. Conversely, we can oten lighten the emotional load through simple splashes from the color wheel.

1. Use Crayons to write the reminders you put on your refrigerator door.
2. Tie a red scarf or bandana around your neck, head, wrist or ankle. Each time you glimpse it, smile at the inner, free spirit that lives along side your practical working self.
3. Stick a large canary-yellow posterboard on your office wall, and with the help of clear tape, use it as a bulletin board. Add a few children's stickers for fun.
4. Choose bright, kindergarten colors, i.e., red, yellow, green, orange, blue and purple, for your knitting and crocheting projects. (Making gifts for others that way will futher lighten your mood.)
5. Find a fairly smooth rock and using those bright markers, draw a smiling or silly face on it. Keep that Joy Rock on your desk or chair-side table as a good luck token.

 Let both the colors and the creativity lift and warm your heart.

Linda

When Selflessness is Selfish

One more life lesson came my way last night. A dear, longtime friend and I had had trouble finding a good time for her to bring a "quesadilla party" to my kitchen. So rather than cancel yet again, I didn't let on that I was wiped out from a minor touch of something unpleasant and short on sleep because of it.

Have you ever thought, "I can do this. I don't want to rain on our party again!" - and stuck with the plan? It feels like a giving thing. My friend and I could still have our quesadilla feast and watch "Treasure Island." All I had to do is sit in my chair. The thing is, I never considered that maybe I wouldn't be very good company.

This morning we talked on the phone about something entirely different. But her first words were about last night: "You should have told me you weren't feeling good! I watched you during the evening and you looked like you were dragged out and miserable."

Hmmm ... I'd say the lesson to be learned from that is that if I'm not feeling up to a fun evening, I'll probably be lousy company. Which is pretty much a lose/lose situation.

The next time I'll consider my friend's comfort and enjoyment as well as mine and make my decision based on that rather than my usual "tough it out" philosophy.

Thank you, Vera ~

Linda